7.24.2014

Oh! That's you...or nah?

Remember that girl or guy who you were head over heels for?
That cat that made you feel like you're the only girl/guy in the world. The one you thought was the love of your life; swore up and down that they were your soul mate.
Thought they were the one you could finally take home to Mama n'em. Introduce to all of your friends, even the crazy ones who normally scare folks away. 
You had so much faith, hope, love, trust in this person. 
You were beyond lost in the Matrix. You were in love and you wanted to share the joy you've found with all of your family, friends, co-workers, random passerby, animals, trees, and flowers. You wanna scream it to inanimate objects 


It was a beautiful feeling, this "love" that you've acquired. You didn't want to let it go. Just kept it nice and safe in your closet next to a couple of skeletons from a past that you rather not talk about.
Stay focused on the future with your new boo thang since everything is wonderful.
Until someone ask you THAT question. The question that sends you spiraling into an episode of despair and forces you to deal with them bones in your closet
Y'all so cute and stuff, but uhm.....how long y'all been going out?

Bish.....whet?!?!

Did I ask you to come over here and bring me out of my fairy tale ?
Did anybody tell you to drag me down the yellow brick road and back into reality?
Do I have a sign on my forehead that says now taking inquires about something that has nothing to do with you? 
I mean, how dare they ask such a personal question?! Who do they think they are? 
Trying to get all up in your kool-aid and they don't even know the flavor.
You deserve to be treated better than this...
...or do you

Let's list the facts:
  1. You've known your self proclaimed significant other for about seven years through family, friends, and everybody else that's not you. They all told you that they weren't worth a hill of beans but you're grown and can talk to who ever you so chose
  2. Started getting to know them for yourself after running into them at the same bar, club, church event that invites folks in order to raise attendance but only ends up being a more like a single's mixer
  3. Made relationship type moves in the next two weeks of hanging out since they started getting intimate with you. Using your car while you were at work, inviting folks over to your house when you aren't home, and even asked you to babysit their kids because you might be the one 
  4. Declared them to be your spouse after month three since love has no time boundaries
In less than half a year, you have personally learned ERRYTHANG about this person that makes you want to settle down until death do you part. You have seen this person through the best and worst of times. You feel as though you can help them, be that ride out die chic/dude who stays by their side. You are willing to claim them, their dog, two and a possible kids, put them on your car insurance, got them a phone line on your account, and even have their last name as yours on all your social sites. 
But they have offered you not a damb thing.


 They haven't made the effort to get to know you. Never asked you about your past, future, or present plans or situations. They take advantage of the opportunity that you are providing for them; you giving them everything without requiring anything in return. You start making excuses:
She's just going through her storm right now but it will pass
Last time I checked the weather channel storms come and go, but they don't last year round. She must be caught in a new breed of tropical depression that gets people emotionally depressed and unable to deal with...life. 
He's just in between his blessings right now
 Wait just one everlasting minute. So you're telling me that he hasn't received a blessing of any kind in a couple of months. Dang, so that's why he's always in the club, buying up the bar for his sorrows and everybody else's. And that's why you're always stuck watching his kids. We'll make sure to put him on our prayer list...


Baby,
Is the sex that good that you can't see through their deception? Did they do some tricks in bed that played tricks on your mind and rendered you unable? Close your legs/put your peedi wacker up and open your eyes. You're investing all this time and energy in someone who doesn't even want to motivate themselves. They rather have someone else take care of them and their problems than get up, get out, and doing something.

Honey, you have to realize that they are not in love with you, they are infatuated with what you can do for them. Stop wasting time on someone who is not worried about your well being or growth.
I mean....really?! Who hurt you in the past where you no longer believe in your own worth?  If I could I would paper cut them in between their thumb and index finger. I would feed them dry saltine crackers and not offer them anything to drink. I don't know you, but I would fight for your honor. But why fight for someone who won't fight for themselves? Do you not know how gone with the fabulous you really are? You have to learn to appreciate yourself for the wonderful being you are and leave this foolishness alone!


But you ain't trying to hear that though. You've formulated enough excuses to keep the "haters" at bay and convinced yourself that your lies are the truth. You're so tangled in a web of lies that you couldn't see the truth if you hacked through the lies with a machete. You saw the warning signs, drove past the road blocks that tried to detour you away from destruction, but you kept on going.

Self abuse is real and it's not just physical. It's emotional, mental, it's doing what you know isn't healthy for you and making reasons why it's okay. Start making yourself accountable and get out of these negative situationships that you put yourself in.
And baby, you're not alone. We've all been drunk in love. Some of us just got tired of the hangovers. We were over people telling us about what we did and not remembering it; we were tired of people telling us new things about or own relationships that we didn't even know. We decided to sober up, see things for ourselves and realized that we didn't want to be drunk in love. Others like waking up to the smell of their own body secretions and others. They like the drama of not being in control of their actions and someone else controlling their life.
You don't have to follow all the trends you see. So love, do us all a favor and