So You're Mad, Now What?

I find the internet to be a very resourceful tool. Information is readily available just by typing in a few keywords or a short phrase followed by the enter key or a click of the mouse and

What you are looking for is right in front of you. A cyber world full of knowledge, entertainment, music, news articles, videos, people and animals doing things that don't make sense but it's funny so you watch it anyway. Share it with your friends, family, and random people you have never met before in your life because it's the internet and that's what it's made for.

It's is a vast wasteland of useful and useless information. Although we do not have the immediate power to choose what is on the internet, we do have the power to choose what we pay attention to.

Let's say you are scrolling down your timeline on one of your social sites and you see something that you really like. You like it so much that the word like is no longer the correct terminology; love is. You love it so much it is imperative that you comment on the post and then share, retweet, repost, call a friend, send a mass text, put that there thang in a chain email; whatever you have to do to alert people of the wonderfulness that you have stumbled across. If you don't you will surely die a horrible death due to the lack of interesting entertainment on your news feed and timelines. We do this all of the time because why should we keep these great trinkets of randomness to ourselves?

New scenario
You're surfing on the internet when you come across something that irks you to the core of your very soul. You start to go through the stages of an internet disorder that I like to call 
"What The Mother Loving Fudge Nuts Is This Shazam
Oh My Gawd Is This Real Life?!"
  • Phase 1: Read the post, picture, or video's title to get a good idea of what exactly you are about to intake
  • Phase 2: Realize that this post, picture, or video will more than likely make you very upset. You have two options; continue to read/watch or move on to the next thing. Common sense tells us to move on to something else; why continue to read or watch something that you know will make you upset? Unfortunately, common sense is not a tool that is used as frequently as it should be although we are all equipped with it. We move on to 
  • Phase 3: Start reading the article or watching the video in it's entirety  
  • Phase 3.75: Say to yourself, "What The Mother Loving Fudge Nuts Is This Shazam, Oh My Gawd Is This Real Life" 
  • Phase 4: Realize that the post or video is indeed real...so you read or watch it again just to make sure you have a better understanding of it 
  • Phase 5: With your new found understanding, you turn your frustration, angst, and opinions into what seems to be a well worded comment that is neatly left under the post so that passerby can read it at will 
  •  Phase 6: Wait patiently for someone to agree with your views and make a comment stating such
  • Phase 7: Receive feedback on your comment/post but the feedback is mostly people telling you blah blah blah your needs, put on a some real underwear and get the wedgie out your butt, and keep it moving
  • Phase 8: Get upset with these types of comments and call these people sexist, racist, biased, ignorant, or just a stupid negroids.
  • Phase 9: Realize that no one gives a flying monkey back flip kick about how you feel and your irrelevance to life and continue to rant and rave until your ego and pride has been diminished or until you have had enough. #ButtHurtMuch
  • Phase 10: Continue to surf the web and start the cycle again

Why the fudgesicles do people subject themselves to this manner of tomfoolery and foolishment. 
Just kidding...-_-
Do people get some kind of high or sexual enjoyment off of dwelling on things that they don't even have the power or effort to make a change towards? Letting go is as simple as walking away from the computer, or placing your tablet/smart phone device down, or turning off the television, or going for a walk/jog/run, or getting laid, or grabbing a bite to eat with some friends, or getting laid, or going to church, or getting laid.
 Everything does not need to be commented on. There is no cookie at the end of that submit button. Trust me I know, I looked dangnabit and it's a super dry bran muffin with extra fiber to help you take a dump. If we want a comment or educated opinion, we'll ask for one. However, I find it quite hilarious that there are never any comments to questions that are asked but always comments to crap you could care less about. #UnableToCan. If you don't learn anything else from this too long post know this.